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Unread 1st of May, 2010, 09:50
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Prelude: Gone with the Wind

So you've got your latest Pathfinder character created. Everything's set up for your classic “raid the dungeon, loot the treasure, repeat” campaign, and you're just waiting for the GM to give you your first setup. When he begins to speak, you feel his words making their way into you, and grabbing hold of you, dragging you in...

When your senses come back you find yourself in a clearings in the woods. Huh? Whuzzat?
Oh, and you're not alone: You see a group of similarly confused figures standing around, and their appearances strike a chord with you... Hey, wait a minute! Those are the the characters of the party you had joined!
Filled with a sense of foreboding, you look at your own hands, your body, and catch sight of your face in a stream... You have been placed in the body of your character.
Congratulations – Now you're really roleplaying!
The voice in your head sounds like some Batman villain knockoff – deranged, a bit evil and with a twisted sense of humour.
Welcome to the game!

Last edited by Explosive Cheese; 11th of June, 2010 at 20:00.
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Unread 1st of June, 2010, 06:51
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"Verdammt. I fell asleep at the table? And I'm having the weirdest dream ever." Theresa shakes her head and has a good look around. "OK, this won't take long then someone will wake me. All of you are my dream representations of the game we were about to start, and... what are you all staring at?"

Hands at the hips of her "dreamself" Theresa stares at the others. She notices that she has to stare up at them for some reason. Right, her own "dreamself" was a gnome. Very weird, she had never thought to take into account how different the world could look from down here. She would need to fit this into her game somehow, so she could show everyone else how a realistic character play went. "You sure are all big," she commented grinning. It would suck to really be this small, but as a dream, it was definitely interesting.

"Why has no one gone to wake me yet?" she wondered.
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Unread 9th of June, 2010, 20:56
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Is this what dripping acid is like? Wonders Jim, looking at the color of his hands, then around and noticing an incredibly tiny person nearby. Ha! At least I picked to play an half-ogre, and not some midget race. Might as well enjoy this while it lasts.

Deciding to enjoy himself a little bit, Jim walks over and, guessing that it's Theresa's character, begins to pick on her a little bit. Great! I've been working on short jokes all week! He opens his mouth to throw some creative verbage at her, "You short! Rawg is big and you are little! Rawg strong and you not! Ha! Good joke!"

WTF! Jim screams in his own head. *ahem* he coughs mentally and rehearses the words he wants to say in his head. It must suck to have to climb a tree to look someone in the eye. "You lots shorter than need tree eyes!!" Shouts Rawg, pleased with his joke. With that, Jim facepalms, and wonders why people can never do what they mean to in their dreams... or whatever this is.
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Unread 11th of June, 2010, 01:04
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Peter wasn't sure about this. It was supposed to be a hack and slash game... and he'd never been too good with those... Always ended up thinking about it too much. For some reason his eyes were closed. Had he fallen asleep? Weird, he wouldn't think if anything that Dayle's narration would have put him to sleep as nuts as the guy was. Slowly he opened his eyes and found himself somewhere strange. "Wha... what the hell?" He mumbled. "What time is it?" It was bright out already... Was the game over? What was he doing outside? He looked around, seeing something that made his mouth drop open... It was like a scene from... well, it was like the game... Except quite a bit more vivid than he'd ever been able to see it in his mind. And... and everyone's character was here too... He must be asleep... dreaming... but he'd never had a dream like this before. I mean, sure, he'd had dreams about RPGs and video games, and anime and everything.... but this... it felt just exactly like he was standing there. It didn't feel like a dream at all. Everything felt perfectly natural... Well, whatever the right phrase was to describe it... He pinched himself just to make sure. Yep he felt it, and... he wasn't wearing his clothes... He looked down at himself, finding himself in a very different body. He wasn't much taller or anything, but he was far more muscular. He felt like he could lift a small pony. Wait, so if everyone else's characters were here, then that meant he must be Andon... Right, but what the hell was going on? Was he high?
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Unread 11th of June, 2010, 07:46
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I woke with a start and looked around, I was surprised to see a few people I had never seen before but yet they seem very familiar. I wondered where I could possibly know these people from. A voice popped into my head and said, "you moron you do know these people very well as a matter of fact. They are some of your best friends, look closely." I looked around and saw a very tall someone with slightly green skin. I wonder if he's sick I think to myself. Then I realized my friends and I were working on some thing with role playing, and then I remembered Jim was playing a half-orc. This made me wonder, if Jim was here as a half-orc, then Theresa must be... yes there next to Jim was a short little gnome. Then I realized that if they are their role playing characters then I must be mine as well. I reached up to my ears to check and yep they're pointed. I began to wonder if I had the skills of my character. I ran forward and attempted a front-flip. I thought here goes an acrobatics check 1d20+8. I have a good modifier so I should be able to pull this off. But in my mind I saw a 20 sided die land on a one and I landed on my back in the middle of all my friends.

Last edited by dabocim; 12th of June, 2010 at 11:37.
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Unread 11th of June, 2010, 09:35
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A familiar voice echoes in your minds:

Bwahahahahah! Oh that was spectacular Alex! Oh, what a way to start the game! And Jim, I see you're having some difficulty, eh? Minmaxing not looking so smart now, huh?

The voice changes, trying to reclaim its earlier deep and mysterious quality (and failing quite poorly).

Er, I mean, um, Fear me, Mortals! For I am your God, and now you are in my domain! The domain of -

A cloud of smoke appears with a bang of thunder in the middle of the clearing, and as it clears you can make out a hunk of cheese at least 10 feat tall and 5 feet wide, with large brown-pupilled eyes in the middle, and an opening under that may have been a mouth.

The Explosive Cheese! Cower before your new master! For ye have been brought to this world through arcane rites. This is no mere dream, nor hallucination. This is your reality now, though ye might not believe it.

Last edited by Explosive Cheese; 11th of June, 2010 at 20:03.
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Unread 11th of June, 2010, 11:26
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Peter stares slack jawed at the cheese for several moments before finally murmuring, "What the fu-..... Fu-.... Dayle?" Apparently he's too stunned to even swear properly. He pinches himself again, and is again made painfully aware that this is not a dream.
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Unread 11th of June, 2010, 11:42
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Though you're not sure how this is possible on such a limited face, the cheese seems to deflate a bit and the face somehow looks sheepish.

Er... Ah... Um... Oh dammit, I wanted a bit more time before you guys found out... Ah well, yeah, it's me Dayle guys. I get to be a god! How sweet is that?!
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Unread 11th of June, 2010, 13:35
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"Ow! Damn it!" Peter shouted as he pinched himself again. "D- You're... Cheese..."
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Unread 11th of June, 2010, 18:45
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Alex stands up and says, "Dayle how long do we have to stay in here? I really don't like being in the body of the unluckiest schizophrenic in the world." He continues, "and why in the name of the gods did you decide to be a cheese god?"

Last edited by dabocim; 11th of June, 2010 at 18:48.
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Unread 11th of June, 2010, 19:57
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The cheese swivels mid-air to face Alex, and he can sense that the face is somehow deadly serious now.

Because cheese is awesome, that's why. And don't you forget it.

The face relaxes a bit, and Dayle's normal voice returns.

Anyways, you seem to be taking all this in stride Alex. Peter's gonna rip his skin off if he keeps pinching like that, and the others seem to be catatonic. Maybe it's your character's schizophrenia rubbing off on you...
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Unread 11th of June, 2010, 22:08
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Jim curses in his head. Dayle gets to be a god while I am stuck with half-wit? Gah! I knew I should have volunteered to run the next campaign!

While Jim is distracted with having a good rant, Rawg, guided by his stomach, walks up to the enormous piece of food in the middle of the clearing and tries to get some for himself.

8
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Unread 11th of June, 2010, 22:21
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Peter continues staring staring at the cheese, though now he seems to have accepted the possibility that maybe this is really real and stopped pinching himself. Or at least decided that it does in fact hurt so it's pointless to keep pinching. As impossible as it was to believe this was real, for the time being it might as well be... which really, all things considered, might not be that bad. He'd always dreamed of something like this... Always hoped computer games would some day reach the point where they could use the brain's own power as an engine... Where he could really live his fantasy... So what did he have to complain about? Still, he couldn't help asking questions. Staring at his own body again, he marveled. "So like... How did you do this man? I mean... seriously... this is like... Well, awesome, I guess... I-" He looks up suddenly to see the large guy (who was that again? Jim?) making a swipe for the gigantic cheese. What the hell was he doing? "Whoa... Jim, ... Er, I mean, Dwag... er... hold on man!"
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Last edited by Shoelip; 11th of June, 2010 at 23:24.
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Unread 12th of June, 2010, 00:28
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Rawg's attempted chomping fails pretty miserably, even ignoring the Cheese's divine aura, but Dayle is no less pissed. Rawg is slammed backwards a good couple of yards by an invisible force, and a tiny lightning bolt appears out of the cloudless sky, stinging the half-ogre directly between the eyes.

Hey man! Not cool! You better put a leash on your dimwitted character before I decide to really hurt you. I mean, it's not like you can actually hurt me, or even this body, but still. It's not right. You don't go taking bites out of friends, no matter how much cheesy goodness they might have... mmm... cheesy goodness... I could go for some nachos right about now...

A bowl of nachos dipped in oozing hot nacho cheese (you know, the really fake, but tasty cheese sauce) appears out of nowhere and floats in front of the Cheese. He(?) begins psychically tunneling nachos into his 'mouth', cannibalism notwithstanding.

After noticing the stares, He looks around and asks, Want some?

[OOC: Rawg takes 2 non-lethal damage (1 from push, 1 from lightning bolt)]
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Unread 12th of June, 2010, 00:41
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Oddly enough, with all the other things going on it's the nacho 'cheese' that makes Peter feel ill. "Uh, no... no thanks..." Dayle... he got to be a god, and he chose to be god of fake cheese... Dayle... Peter takes in a deep breath and lets it out as a sigh. "Ok, so wait. We're all here right? So then what is this? Some sort of Matrix thing or something? Are we asleep and some machine is making our dreams feel real? I mean, seriously man, how'd you do this? You gotta tell me..."
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Unread 12th of June, 2010, 11:44
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I turn to look at the half-orc who was thrown half way across the clearing. I look back at Dayle not wanting to offend a god (especially since I made it so my character worshiped the arch-nemesis of the god Dayle was creating for this game) and say, "No thanks with all the defects of my character he's probably lactose intolerant"
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Unread 13th of June, 2010, 05:38
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The little gnome just stares. "Weirdest... really weirdest... dream I ever had. Did I eat too much cheese and wine or something? Maybe it's the heartburn..."
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Unread 13th of June, 2010, 07:16
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Suit yourself. More for me then.

The Cheese inhales the remaining Nachos before turning to face Peter.

I thought we'd be coming to this sooner or later. Well, you see, I was looking online for tips about running a pathfinder game, right? And one of these sites claims to be able to let you run 'real' games. To actually live in the world you create in your mind, and bring others into it. I know, I know, it sounds crazy, right? And it's not like I really believed it, but since it said I only needed to say something aloud then concentrate really hard, I decided to try it just for kicks. Just to prove to myself that it doesn't work, you know?

The strange and out-of-place human eyes on the Cheese go wide here, and the 'mouth' breaks into a huge, Cheese-splitting grin.

But it actually worked. I found myself in control of my own world, and by phrasing my commands to the world in terms of RPG rules, I found I could control it a lot easier. I must have spent over 3 days playing in that sandbox world, but when I was done and decided I'd had enough, I found myself in the real world at the exact same time I left!

Do you see the possibilities here? We can spend as long as we like adventuring over game worlds for real, and never waste a damn second of real time! Perfect balance between RPGing and real life! And as soon as we're done with this adventure, I'll show you guys all the trick so that others can take turns being God!

Though there aren't much in the way of features on the Cheese, you can again somehow detect his 'expression', and you notice that Dayle seems pretty damn smug.

Pretty effin' sweet, huh?
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Unread 13th of June, 2010, 07:16
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Suit yourself. More for me then.

The Cheese inhales the remaining Nachos before turning to face Peter.

I thought we'd be coming to this sooner or later. Well, you see, I was looking online for tips about running a pathfinder game, right? And one of these sites claims to be able to let you run 'real' games. To actually live in the world you create in your mind, and bring others into it. I know, I know, it sounds crazy, right? And it's not like I really believed it, but since it said I only needed to say something aloud then concentrate really hard, I decided to try it just for kicks. Just to prove to myself that it doesn't work, you know?

The strange and out-of-place human eyes on the Cheese go wide here, and the 'mouth' breaks into a huge, Cheese-splitting grin.

But it actually worked. I found myself in control of my own world, and by phrasing my commands to the world in terms of RPG rules, I found I could control it a lot easier. I must have spent over 3 days playing in that sandbox world, but when I was done and decided I'd had enough, I found myself in the real world at the exact same time I left!

Do you see the possibilities here? We can spend as long as we like adventuring over game worlds for real, and never waste a damn second of real time! Perfect balance between RPGing and real life! And as soon as we're done with this adventure, I'll show you guys all the trick so that others can take turns being God!

Though there aren't much in the way of features on the Cheese, you can again somehow detect his 'expression', and you notice that Dayle seems pretty damn smug.

Pretty effin' sweet, huh?
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Unread 13th of June, 2010, 09:37
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"Was that my schizophrenia talking or did you just repeat your monologue twice???" I said in a very confused voice.
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Unread 13th of June, 2010, 09:47
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I... Uh...

The Cheese looks nonplussed, and then a bit sheepish.

Huh. I guess I don't quite have perfect control here, seeing how I managed to completely repeat myself. Weird. It's like double-posting in real life... Er... Well real-ish.... Whatever! You know what I mean!

As an afterthought the Cheese adds: It's probably because I'm communicating by thought. I have a habit of repeating my thoughts some times... But it's not like you can hear all my thoughts...
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Unread 14th of June, 2010, 03:13
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"...Wow..." Is all Peter can says for a few seconds as he continues to stare blankly at the cheese. If he wasn't seeing it right now with his own eyes he was sure he'd think Dayle was just going crazier than usual. "Wait," He finally says. "So like, what's it like? I mean... are you omniscient or something? Is the only part of the world that's doing stuff the one we're in now? Like, how do the NPCs work? Do you have to design all their dialogue and control their actions like normal, or do can they act on their own? Can you like, just create NPCs whereever you want or does the world create them naturally? You know like Dwarf Fortress... Like... could you spawn a uhm.... a hot elf chick right here or something? Heh..."
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Unread 16th of June, 2010, 03:44
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Well, as far as you guys are concerned, I'm not quite omniscient or omnipotent. I can't hear all your thoughts - only thoughts that you direct willfully at me. And I can't make you do anything, or change anything about your characters, directly. I made sure this was the case before I brought you all here, because I don't want to go ruining friendships by bringing mind-reading and shit into the mix, because that never ends well.

On the other hand, I
am virtually omnipotent when it comes to the rest of the world. I can manipulate and change any facet of it in any way I want, which is pretty cool, let me tell you. So yeah, I can also make NPC's, thing is they begin taking a life of their own once they're created. I can though, if I want, see into their minds and manipulate them.

Basically, as I understand it after toying with this place last week, it runs off my subconscious, and my conscious mind can override that. It takes all of my half-formed ideas for how the world should work which is stuffed full with all the Pathfinder Wiki info I've been reading, and sort of makes a world, and starts auto-populating it, and stuff. The NPC's behave sort of the way my mind expects people to behave, so if they seem a bit unrealistic, it's 'cause they're not 100% real, okay?

Anyways, yeah, stuff's happening in other parts of the world, as the pseudo-people and forces of nature that were set in motion sort of follow along their paths and such. But I don't know any more about them than you unless I go looking there. I know a little bit about the surrounding area 'cause I set some stuff up here intentionally, but as for the rest of the world... unless I go look there, all I know about it is what was on the pathfinder wiki, and it's probably changing as we speak. Hell, my subconscious may even have distorted what I read, so really, it's uncharted territory.

So, to sum up, the world and the NPC's are usually on autopilot, but slightly less real, but I can take control if and when I want.

And no, I will not be making a hot elf chick for you. There are WAY too many reasons that's a bad idea...


Done with his lengthy monologue (which the group had grown accustomed to in previous games) 'Dayle' relaxes his cheesy body, and a goofy grin returns to his 'face'.

So how 'bout it guys? Fancy a real game?
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Unread 16th of June, 2010, 06:43
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Peter frowns slightly at the cheese's refusal of his suggestion. "What... We're all adults here... heh..." he mutters sheepishly.

"Well um..." He looks down at his... character's body. "Well yeah... I can't wait... though don't you think we could use some equipment if we're going to be adventurers?"
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Unread 16th of June, 2010, 17:32
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"How can something be real if you can change it any way you want to? Oh and I bet you can't keep your facts straight, as usual, so there will be weird incidents when people we killed are back alive. And seeing how everything is not real we could just go on a killing spree." A wicked grin appeared on the gnome's face.
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